“The LORD had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” Genesis 12:1

Leave everything you are comfortable with behind to go somewhere you’ve never been. To a place where you don’t know anyone. Leave your family that you love being around everyday. Leave the land you are so familiar with. The places you have grown to know and love and make memories in. Leave it all behind for Me.

Wow. Ok, God let’s build an ark. But leave? Leave everything that makes me happy and comfortable?

Wow, again. That just shows that I am searching for satisfaction in ALL the wrong places. But it feels good to be around my family. There is a comfort there. A trust. I could leave Randall with my family when I need to get things done. I look at Fort Lauderdale as so temporary, so I can deal with it. But I don’t truly want to deal with it. I want to thrive here. Richard just asked me the other day on our date (which was a blessing, Thank you God for my mom…please bless her for her servant heart) What do you want to accomplish while you are here? And I went off. I want to learn from the women here that I meet. I want to take this opportunity that I have to not be able to fill my time with family and best friends. To me, I think this is the time where God can build up in me a foundation in His word so that later I can speak with truth and knowledge. I want to eventually do women’s ministry so I need to build my spiritual tools up. What better way to do that than being here without anyone I know to distract me. I should be having time with my Abba Father EVERYDAY. I should be praying more. I should be getting involved in the church. I told Richard that I really want someone to disciple me. The best times in my walk with God have always been when I have had someone to bounce my questions and ideas off of. I need a mentor. So we are praying more. It is so precious to me. Last night, after Richard and I put Randall to bed we went upstairs to go to bed ourselves. I, of course, wanted to watch American Idol before I hit the sack and he proceeded to go to bed. I had just started the show and watched the first performer so I was now hooked and didn’t want to be distracted. Richard turned over after the first performer and said “Pause it!”. I said “ugh…why”. He said, “Let’s pray”. I was like ouch. That was a pierce to my distracted heart! It was the sweetest time of prayer. And to think, I almost got upset about having to pause my silly show.

This time with God in scripture has really opened my eyes to the thought of truly trusting Him with our future. We assume that in March of next year we are going to Orlando because that is the easiest, most convenient and comfortable route. What if God has something better? He always has. Everytime Richard and I have tried to plan our lives out it has gone the exact opposite way. That is God reminding us that He is in control and for us not to get ahead of ourselves with planning.

To be honest though, I am having the hardest time getting out of my house and meeting people and getting involved at church. I am not keeping it a high priority now that I think about it. I can’t even keep my house together, so getting out of the house feels wrong since I need to do so much at home. But then I get cabin fever and bitter towards Richard for having friends and a life outside our house. I am learning. Slowly but surely, I will get there. With God’s help.

Here is my sweet reminder for the day though:

“I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you” Genesis 12:2

The blessing. After all the difficulty and discomfort of leaving everything and everyone behind, you will be blessed. Keep your eye on the prize Crystal. The prize is Christ.

Published in: on March 21, 2010 at 8:48 am  Leave a Comment  

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